


Vacation?

by Inuryuvr



Series: Thorki-ed prompts [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-18
Updated: 2012-09-18
Packaged: 2017-11-14 12:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/515039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inuryuvr/pseuds/Inuryuvr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from Thorki-smut on Tumblr:<br/>“Loki just can’t help himself and is an ass to Thor/everybody. I don’t mean fics where “he is not evil, just misunderstood”, more like a fic where he is not evil per se but he ends up doing evil things because he can’t help himself, because it’ just his role in the universe.”<br/>I sorta took this prompt and ran with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vacation?

“Why can't you just take a day off?” That simple question was how this whole fiasco seemed to start. Tony Stark didn't mean any harm by it, but the results were anything but harmless. A look of horror had set itself on Thor's face as he watched the god of mischief huff and teleport away from the battlefield. Thor took it upon himself to march up to Ironman to inform him of his folly. 

“You know not the consequences of your question. My brother was annoyed enough with your banter, now you have given him reason to leave his post.”

“What post? His whole point to to cause mischief and chaos, what is bad about stopping that?” Ironman lifted his faceplate to glare back at Thor as they stood nearly at eye-level with each other.

“And you think that it is just some whim he commands those forces by? Loki lords over those elements and now you have given him reason to loose his control.” Ironman only shrugged in response to Thor's accusation, ignoring the warnings as he turned back to the team now that the villan had left. 

“We can deal with it when the time comes. It can't be any worse than Reindeer games' tricks.” Thor only shook his head in resignation as he watched the Avengers return to the tower. They would realize their folly in the long run. Hopefully things would not become irreversible before that time.\

~~

Avengers tower experienced a calm few days without the God of Mischief causing trouble for them. Tony laughed that the horrors Thor had spoken of were nonexistent, but the Thunder god only shook his head and left the room each time Tony taunted him. That was until the morning Tony walked into his workshop to find all his equipment glued to the ceiling. 

“Jarvis! What is the meaning of this?!”

“I'm sorry sir, but it seems that your lab is upside down.”

“I can see that, but what happened to cause it to be that way?” Tony was not at all happy with the development, literally seething he tried to jump for his tools which had also been glued to the tables that were on the ceiling.

“I cannot say, sir. This was the first occasion on which I had noticed this.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Then do a scan of the past 24 hours, I want to know what caused this.”

“I wish I could sir, but my internal clock seems to have been tampered with as well.” Almost screaming at this final revelation, Tony stalked back up the stares to the communal breakfast area in the tower. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at one of the bar stools, finally deciding it was too early in the morning for this shit. A cheery “good morning” from each of his teammates only brought out a grumble of annoyance from the genius until a certain Norse god entered the kitchen with a boisterous rendition of the greeting. 

“Fuck off.” Was the most polite thing he could muster to tell Thor as he entered, bringing a concerned look to the god's face. 

“What has disturbed you so, friend that at the crack of dawn you would be fighting so great displeasure?” Tony only raised his head with an annoyed look on his face before slamming it back onto the table.

“That damned brother of yours must be back or something, because when I went down to the lab this morning my lab was upside down.” Thor gave him a questioning look, as if asking to explain further.

“I do not see how this would pertain to my brother, especially since he has been in Asgard of late, 'vacationing' as you suggested.”

“Then what glued all my lab equipment to the ceiling of my lab?!” The rest of the team stepped back out of the way of Tony's wrath as he jumped from his chair to shout at the Asgardian. 

“I did warn you that you would regret sending my brother off to ignore his work.”

“Why did it attack me then? I'm the one that let what ever it is free? Whatever it is specifically targeted me.” He said with conviction as he walked back to the lab to work on returning it to it's normal state. “I can hardly believe you god's exist, much less that without you the elements would be out of control.”

Thor only shook his head again, before looking back to the rest of the team with concern. “I suggest you watch out from now on. I shall only get worse from here. I shall try to ask my brother to return to his post.” The other Avengers even looked suspicious of Thor's suggestion, but the god ignored them as he left the building.

~~

For a time after the incident with Tony's lab nothing seemed out of the ordinary, sure food would disappear or be replaced with something entirely different, but the team could blame that on each other with little consequence. But it was the morning Bruce woke to find a pink cloud floating over the coffee pot that things started to get weird. The scientist started poking at the little cloud, trying to figure out what it was doing hovering in the kitchen. He could think of no possible way the cloud could just sit stationary like that, not to mention the color. Even those thoughts were discarded as it started raining a brown liquid into his coffee cup. 

Bruce jumped, startled by the change, but he calmed down and tested the liquid raining down into his cup. It was warm and steaming, and smelled suspiciously like the coffee he had been trying to brew, so against his better judgment the scientist tasted the cup of the brown liquid. It was coffee! Immediately he grabbed several mugs from the cabinet to place under the cloud to collect it's precipitation. That was how the rest of the Avengers came to find him sipping on a cup of coffee while changing out the mugs that were set under the pink cloud.

“Please tell me this is not what it looks like.” Hawkeye grumbled as he strode over to the pile of filled mugs to grab one for himself. 

“Whatever it is, this is the most useful thing to happen yet!” Tony exclaimed as he grabbed for the coffee, downing it easily. The other avengers followed suit, until they realized one problem. 

“How do we turn it off?” Natasha asked, turning to Bruce who shrugged.

“I have no idea how it turned on, it just did. It's not like any other cloud I've seen, and that's beside the point that it is raining coffee and is bright pink. It's solid enough for me to touch it, and it doesn't seem likely to move.”

“Maybe if Thor was here he could just will it to go hover over the sink or turn off until tomorrow morning.” Hawkeye muttered.

“Well he isn't so we have to deal with it ourselves.” Tony said irritably, the thunder god had been missing ever since Tony's lab had been turned topsy turvy. The lab wasn't the same since then, everything seemed to be off by a fraction, enough to drive the inventor insane. But that was the least of their worries as Jarvis' voice heralded over the intercom, “Director Fury is on the line, he says the Avengers are needed.” To their dismay, any peaceful morning was taken from them. 

“Put him on, Jarvis.” Steve replied, overruling any groans from the rest of the room. 

“I sure hope you have an explanation for this, because there are nothing but packs of roaming coffee producing clouds swarming the better part of Manhattan.”

“It has nothing to do with me, but you would think all the sleep deprived New Yorkers would be thankful for free coffee.” He points to the cloud that Bruce was currently trying to move over the sink. “I don't know how we can help now. It's the weather.”

“Well use your little test dummy for practice before the city drowns in coffee.” With that Fury signed off. 

“So what do we do?” Bruce says as he poked at the cloud again, it had not budged from any force exerted on it, but seemed to break off in his hand. 

“Find some way to move it over the ocean?” Hawkeye suggested.

“Sure, one handful at a time, that'll be very productive.” Tony snapped back.

“Stop fighting!” Bruce shouted, startling everyone in the room. “This will get us nowhere.”

“He is right,” Steve said, nodding. “Tony, you and Bruce should see what you two can do about the cloud in here while the rest of us can see what progress we can make on the clouds outside.” Tony sighed in resignation, but gestured to Bruce, who gathered up a few handfuls of the cloud, to follow him to the lab. Watching the scientists leave, Steve nodded to the two remaining members of the team to follow him. 

The remaining Avengers flew up to meet Director Fury in the Helecarrier, in hopes to devise a plan to blow away the clouds at least, or disperse them. But even that proved to be fruitless as the few plans that they devised had already been tried by SHIELD before them. Wind did not seem to effect the clouds, and lasers did appear to vaporize the clouds, but they could not easily be used over the city. 

“Is there any reason that could explain the sudden appearance of these clouds?” Fury asked the assembled Avengers, who in turn looked to each other worredly. The Director gazed at them intently, expecting them to answer, “I'm guessing you do. Go ahead and spit it out, maybe it will give us a way to solve this.”

“A while ago, we were fighting Loki and Tony offhandedly mentioned to him that he should take a vacation. Loki in the blink of an eye left the battle, smirking. We didn't think anything of it until Thor told us the error of our ways. Apparently Loki being the god of Mischief and Chaos means that he keeps those forces in check, much like how Thor does. At the time we laughed off his warning, but then several strange things have been happening.” Steve tried to explain until Hawkeye butted in.

“The first being the rearrangement of Tony's lab.”

“And culminating so far in this.” He finished.

“So you're telling me this is all because Stark convinced the god of Chaos to take a vacation?”

“Yes.” All three answered.

“Remind me to make a memo that he is no longer allowed to give recommendations of any type to the enemy...” Hawkeye couldn't help but chuckle at Fury's comment, but stopped as soon as he received a seething glare from that one eye. “Where is Thor then if this is all due to his brother?”

“He is trying to find and convince him to come back..” Steve tried to say before a crackle of lightening struck the top deck of the Helecarrier.

“I'm guessing he's back then.” Fury deadpanned to the ceiling.

They met the god of Thunder as he entered into the control room. “What happened?” Steve asked.

“My brother seems to have returned to this realm recently, I came here to see how things are progressing. As expected they are quickly getting out of hand as the weather is no longer at my command.” He replied to the chagrin of those standing before him. 

“What do we do then? If you can't do anything about this crazy weather.” Hawkeye exclaimed.

“I must find my brother and convince him to take back control over his element.”

“Well you better hurry up, because the roads have about become rivers of coffee.” Fury commented to the god. “I'll have you all dropped off in a quinnjet so that you may get to work.” The group nodded in agreement, heading off in their respective directions.

~~

On the ground the coffee was running as if in rivers down the streets, only specific areas besides the buildings were above the coffee level. And besides that the cars along the streets had suddenly started to turn into ice cream that melted in contact with the coffee.

“If it wasn't for the fact that it is floating down the streets of New York, that would be an interesting treat.” Clint snarked only to receive glares from his teammates. He recomposed himself and said, “So is there any word from Stark?”

“Not of yet, but I do not think they will have much luck. Let's get to searching.” Captain America stated, pointing each of them in their directions.

Amazingly it did not take them long to find Loki. He was floating down the coffee river on a raft relaxing as if he was at a beach resort. “Brother!” Thor shouted out to him. Loki only grimaced and removed the sunglasses from his face.

“What do you want Thor? I was just starting to enjoy this vacation.”

“Please stop this madness, the mortals do not deserve this level of chaos.”

“Why does it matter if they deserve it? The man of iron asked for me to vacation, so I am. It has been quite some time since I last got the chance to do so.”

“What of the other realms? How soon until this spreads to them?” Thor pleaded.

“That is little consequence to me. I quite enjoy this. Do you not enjoy your little thunderstorms, let me have my fun.” Loki scooped a dollop of ice cream off of a car as he passed, licking it carefully.

“Here and now is hardly the time, Loki.”

“Then when, Thor?” He said pointedly, glaring at the man before him.

“Were the battles with the Midgardians not enough for you Loki?”

“They are hardly satisfactory, but if you wish me to stop this you must give me a more enticing offer than just freedom to do battle with the Midgardians.” He turned to the side to see Captain America and the two spies watching their interchange. “You are hardly the one to make a deal though,Thor. What say you captain? What can you offer me that I may stop?” Captain America's gaze was one of contempt, but he was conflicted in his reasoning as it was not Loki's actions this time that were causing the chaos and he could hardly make the god resume his duties.

“If you want a vacation, there are plenty of uninhabited islands you may choose from to let chaos loose on. No one will care there. For Pete's sake you could turn it into an ice cream island for all you want and no one but the biologists will care.” He sighed, exasperated.

Loki thought for a bit about Steve's offer. “I do see a use in this, but you must agree to never come after me there.”

“Fine!” Steve shouted. “Just turn off this rain and get rid of these clouds!” Loki smiled and waved his hand as he disappeared. The clouds and rain disappeared   
with him, but the coffee and ice cream still littered the streets. 

“Of course he wouldn't be helpful enough to clean up his mess.” Hawkeye muttered, lifting his boot from the sludge beneath them. 

“At least it's over.” Natasha said, turning to return to the tower. “SHIELD can deal with the clean up now.”

~~

Back at the tower they were greeted by puddles of coffee spilled around the whole of the living room. They followed the trails down to Tony's lab which appeared to be in not much better shape, but there they found the two man handling a small remaining pink cloud into a metal contraption. 

“Why is that one still there?” Steve asked, the two scientists glanced over from their work with a questioning glance.

“What are the rest gone?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah, Loki made them go poof even if he didn't clean up all the mess they left.” Clint responded before a note appeared on Tony's desk. Steve picked it up and read it out to the rest of the team.

“I figured it wouldn't hurt to leave you this little reminder of our agreement. Plus it seemed as if the man of iron and the green monster enjoyed it well enough.

-Loki”

“Is that what you're doing?” Hawkeye asked sending a knowing look to Tony and Bruce. “You're making a coffee machine out of this thing.”

“Why not? It's an endless supply, why let it go to waste.” Tony reasoned.

“Just don't come to us when Fury busts your ass over what you did in the first place. You were supposed to find a way to get rid of the clouds not turn them into an entrepreneurial venture.” Clint said, turning to leave the lab.

The rest of the Avengers leave the lab to Tony and Bruce, save Thor who hands a piece of paper to Tony, “May this be a reminder never to do this again.” He left the room afterwards to let Tony look down at the paper. It was the deed to his mansion in the Florida Keys, signed over to Loki. Tony only sunk to the ground with a groan.


End file.
